This week has been very strange. i awoke Thursday to the sound of my fathers voice speaking lightly in the guest room i was sleeping in. "he died last Night then?" says father, i shift slightly dazed in the warm bed, that is currently my sanctuary. I know that it is my grand father that has died (the only one i had left, never met the other.), yet i think only of needing to sleep more. i pull the covers over my head and hope for my dad to leave, so i can continue resting. i go to school that day, trying to feel sad. but lacking good memories of my grand father, i sit on the train looking at the ground, wondering whats wrong about my family. i arrive at school and tell my teacher i may not be in school the next couple of days. i stop trying to grieve, enjoy school, and sleep again to Friday. i don't remember Friday so well besides my kung fu class and seeing my friend who is new here stand in our uniform looking out of place. later that class i fight him and beat awfully. i walk back with them as the discuss what they will do later today. when i get home i sit and think of the next day, i will attend my art class at cooper union, for the whole mourning till it begins to get dark out, after that i will go to a Hanuka party, were i will see my young some what brothers.(not blood related). after the party. me my father, brother, mother, Grand mother,(not the one in grieving)and me will travel to Manhattan in our Volvo station wagon through one of the snow. the ride was immaculate, alone on the road, watching the few other fools try and fight their way through the snow. at one point on the trip we take the Manhattan bridge, not being able to see in front of us or in back,(due to snow)or on the left and right side. as we go across the bridge the only sound we hear is our car bumping along the road. in some creepy yet meditative way, i felt completely calm. on Sunday i see for the first time my grand father laying in his coffin. i was surprised that he didn't move. me and my mom thought we say him breath, i'm not sure why. i also couldn't believe how much his skin looked like the clay I've been using to make little people. for the rest of the day and night i would sit and make small talk. the dead body would soon turn to another piece of furniture. my aunt said it best for every one but me "Who knew it would be so hard saying good bye to this cranky old bastard". for me it was more Who knew it would be so easy saying good bye to this cranky old bastard. i never cried through the whole three days that seemed to be one, no matter how hard i tried. one of my distant family members, my great uncle Donald, told me to find what ever i love doing and make it my job, he also said even if you think you cant do it, keep on trying because, eventually you will get it. he gave me his example of him painting houses, before he said "i couldn't do it for the life of me but now its easy." what Donald doesn't know is that i know he still can't paint a house. there were stories my dad would tell me about all the stupid things he had done, we called them the Donald stories. for instance he once painted a house and turned on a fan to circulate the smell and get it out the windows. but he didn't open the windows, so he made the whole house smell like paint. he has also lived some how a time he blew up a car while working on it. so i will try and take his advise and do what i love and try and live trough life with his dumb luck. i would attend a funeral mass on Monday, and listen to the ridiculous thing my gay uncle called the emotional church. this uncle also looks at my brother and sees himself. yet most people don't give them selves the eye. at the burial on Wendsday, we dropped my cremated Grand father in a small hole surrounded by foot tall snow wall. after all this most of my family would have a snow ball fight and eat sweets. ending the strangely happy few days that made up a funeral. what is it about death that draws us all together. at school the few who knew offered their condolences, not even wondering if i was sad. it was strange. (sorry if none of this makes sense!!!)